September 3rd, 2009 | 
Author: Boots Boots Boots
I want to introduct something about dining room chair. 
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Redirected from Boots Boots Boots
029 Boots Boots Boots
Script
Jimmy Perry and David Croft
Director
David Croft
Producer
David Croft
Recorded
Friday 31/7/70
Original transmission
Friday 9/10/70 8.00pm
Series
Four
Length
30 minutes
Original Viewing Figures
13.2 million
Preceded by
Don’t Forget the Diver
Followed by
Sergeant Save My Boy!
Boots Boots Boots is the third episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad’s Army that was originally transmitted on Friday 9 October 1970.
Synopsis
Captain Mainwaring implements an unpopular series of lengthy marches to achieve the three Fs fast feet functional feet and fit feet.
Plot
Mainwaring is giving a lecture on transportation and tells the men that whatever mode of transport they use it all comes down to the same thing: the three Fs fast feet functional feet and fit feet. Producing two diagrams he gives one to Wilson. Mainwaring unrolls his diagram which displays a human foot in perfect working order which is what everyone’s foot should look like in a nicely fitting shoe. Wilson unrolls his diagram to show a ravaged foot covered in bruises corns and bunions which has been in an illfitting shoe.
Mainwaring proceeds to inspect everyone’s feet despite having a slight problem in his back that eventually results in him using a chair to inspect the platoon’s feet. After he has finished he concludes that everyone’s feet are fine but he decides to impose some long route marches to get their feet up to scratch.
After a fifteenmile march Mainwaring asks the men to have their feet ready for inspection in five minutes while he and Wilson have a chat in the office. Mainwaring confides in Wilson that he knows that he’s a shy and sensitive man who handles the men quietly and subtly. So he offers to inspect Wilson’s feet in private. Wilson protests by asking Mainwaring who will inspect his feet. Mainwaring agrees and proposes that he’ll show Wilson his if he shows Mainwaring his.
Meanwhile Walker proposes some foot salve for Pike and Frazer. Frazer is none too keen on the idea but when Walker announces that they don’t have to pay for it if they don’t like he assents. Mainwaring and Wilson reappear and inspect the men’s feet and it is revealed that the foot salve is in fact a felt tip pen. Mainwaring isn’t impressed with the men’s feet and proposes route marches and games of football in bare feet.
After a few days it’s beginning to take it’s toll on the platoon especially Pike who has a nightmare about marching in bare feet which were all swollen and blistered. The next morning Mrs Pike confronts Wilson in Mainwaring’s office about Pike’s feet and asks him to ask Mainwaring to not let Pike go on any more marches. After she storms off Pike tells Wilson his plan to avoid a twentymile march on Saturday: swap Mainwaring’s boots over for a half a size smaller. Wilson thinks this is a good idea not realising that the rest of Jones’ section have had the same idea.
Jones’ section enter Sedgewick’s Shoe Shop where Mainwaring buys his boots and ask Mr Sedgewick for a pair of size 7 boots for Jones but they must be the same sort that Mainwaring has. While he’s looking for a pair Godfrey pretends to feel faint and Mr Sedgewick goes out back to get a glass of water leaving the pair of boots on the stool. Jones scrambles up the ladder to try and find a pair of shoes half a size smaller than Mainwaring’s but then realises he doesn’t know Mainwaring’s size in the first place.
Sedgewick returns and gives Godfrey the water. He says it’s not enough and Sedgewick reluctantly goes to fetch another one but the men have forgotten to ask about Mainwaring’s boots and are shocked when Sedgewick comes back with a full jug. Jones asks about Mainwaring’s shoe size and he comments that he takes a 6?. Between the four of them Jones’ section finish the jug and ask for some more. As Sedgewick trudges out Jones searches desperately for a size 6 eventually finding one. When Sedgewick returns they blame the mess on a mouse and quickly make their escape.
Later Pike and Wilson arrive and initiate the same plan with every detail exactly the same. Wilson is therefore surprised when Sedgewick knows that he’s feeling faint and goes out to get a glass of water.
The next morning Mainwaring arrives stiffly wearing the pair of size 6 shoes. He hobbles into the office just as Mr Sedgewick arrives with the pair of boots he left for repair last week: a 6?. The men joke with Mainwaring not realising the truth even when Mainwaring jovially tells Jones to lead the men off on their twentymile march.
Notes
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